


Stars in her Eyes

by ashslei



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depression, F/F, Little Snippets of Life, Post-Series, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashslei/pseuds/ashslei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots following Korra throughout her life, up until her death. A study on how she ages by examining her evolving personality, new struggles, old wounds, friendships, and relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posted to fanfiction.net as well as the TLA subreddit's Fanfic Tuesdays event. (Will be updating weekly as a result)
> 
> Starts off in the weeks after the events of season 4. After Varrick's wedding but before the spirit world trip. Keep in mind that Korra and Asami are not in a relationship yet. That is going to have a slow build up.
> 
> I tend to update chapters fairly often, to fix mistakes or redo bits and pieces or add new ideas or whatever. So it might be a little different if you ever plan on rereading it.

" _A new wound makes all the old ones ache again."  
_ Mignon McLaughlin

 

There was no plan, no method, no thought process. There was only the sound of my boots slamming into the ground repeatedly as I ran, groaning with exertion as my sides lanced with infuriating pain. The thought of escape consumed me, filling me with a terrifying feeling in the pit of my stomach topped with the faintest sliver of hope.  
  


"You're too late!"

   
I cried out my frustration at the uneven, rocky ground beneath my feet. It leered up at me, as if it were laughing at my peril and its own aid in my destruction. Running faster was my only option as the sound of maniacal laughter reverberated all around me.

   
My feet tripped over themselves like I was a complete novice again, and the ground rose up to greet me with a sinister grin.

   
WHAM!

   
I grunted as the wind was violently ripped from my lungs. Overwhelming panic crept through my limbs leaving them numb and cold. Something was clobbering me, but I couldn't seem to do anything about it. I couldn't move, I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe.

   
A great chill crept up my spine making me shiver, and my eyes were forced open.

   
Asami's wide green eyes stared back, her head framed by the pale-white ceiling and the long black tresses that draped over me. She was moving her lips but no sound was coming out.

   
A buzzing, ringing sound filled my ears. I kept panting trying to catch my breath back, and I felt both freezing cold and sweat-inducingly hot. My arms twitched and burned with adrenaline and if it wasn't for the fact that I felt like something terrible was about to happen, I might have almost welcomed the feeling.

   
She spoke again. I tried to focus.

   
". . . Korra, are . . . okay . . ..? Please . . . talk to me."

   
I managed to rasp her name out and she gripped my hand, hard. It was at this point that I dimly realized I was on the floor, which meant I must have fallen off the bed when I was . . . asleep. My face grew heated because of how weak this made me feel. How I felt as useless as a frightened lemur cowering under a bed.

   
We sat there for a minute or two as my breathing calmed, the familiar scent of cherry blossoms drifting over me keeping me grounded and safe. Asami held on to my hand like her life depended on it, rubbing little circles into my palm with her thumb. She seemed to realize it at some point and let go rather suddenly, looking a little embarrassed.

  
"Which one was it this time?" she asked cautiously after a moment. The words reverberated through my mind. Which one . . . which one . . . which one?

  
I shook my head in response, not daring to look her in the eye.

  
"That one again, huh? I wish . . . I, I just want to help. I know you aren't ready to talk about it yet, but it hurts seeing you go through this still. I, I don't know . . .."

  
She trailed off into silence with a gentle sigh, looking away. I took this moment to discreetly wipe away the wetness that was still stubbornly clinging to my eyes, wondering if I could bend them away instead. Or maybe just use bending to get rid of tears all-together.

  
Her hand wrapped around mine again and she gave a gentle tug.

  
"C'mon, lets get you back in bed. It's still pretty early and I know you hate mornings . . .."

  
A weak chuckle escaped my lips as she gathered me in her arms. A brief second later the covers were tucked up to my chin and my eyes were fighting to stay open. I felt exhausted, like I had just swam across the entire bay.

  
"Get some more sleep," she murmured, twisting a lock of brown hair around her finger. A habit she picked up after I got back from my recovery. "I'll be nearby when you wake up."

  
.

  
.

  
My eyes opened the instant I smelled food. The natural alarm clock inside of me grumbled, telling me it was time to finally start the day. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and gave myself a few seconds to sit there, letting the swirling blackness creep over my mind and pass on.

  
The bed felt cold and desolate beside me. A sense of worry hung over me, filtering eventually into a sense of loneliness. A battle between the desire of hiding away underneath the bedsheets or seeking the company I craved soon resulted, with the latter winning out the second the image of Asami popped across my mind. Soft-spoken words from last night flowed through my ears, and I felt the need to find her.

  
I'll be nearby when you wake up.

  
A stinging sensation jolted through my legs the instant I tried to stand, worse than usual. I hissed at the pain, forcing myself all the way up and forward.

  
Making my way out to the hall, I strode past the spare bedroom and supply closet and entered the kitchen where that delightful smell was coming from. Asami wandered around the room, humming softly as she put supplies back in the right places. She looked carefree, although she still sported the dark circles under her eyes that hadn't yet been covered with makeup. A second later she noticed me.

  
"Oh! Hey, how're you feeling? I was going to give you a few more minutes . . .."

  
"Fine," I yawned on my way to the counter, carefully stepping over a bunch of boxes that littered the ground.

  
"Sorry about that mess," she called out over her shoulder. "Tenzin sent it over yesterday. I still had some stuff there that he wanted to get rid of apparently."

  
The image of a red-faced Tenzin disgruntled about a bunch of boxes taking up space left me smirking. For someone who preached patience at all times, he could sure lose his own in a hurry.

  
"That's fine," I wheezed out, content enough by the proximity to turn and look out the giant window nearby.

  
Staring out this window was my favorite. It faced west, overlooking the entire financial district which now lay mostly in ruins. The park was just ahead and off to the right, and the portal spiraled upward a little farther off in the distance. Off to the side you could even see parts of the wealthy residential area far across the bay's inlet. I had never learned the names of all the districts, although Mako had tried to teach me once.

  
I preferred this apartment over the old mansion, especially since Wu was still residing there for the time being. That place, while remarkable, was way too big for my tastes. But this was nice and cozy even if it was still quite luxurious. It has this huge fireplace that I'm dying to test out when the temperature goes down.

  
A plate hit the countertop next to me.

  
"One Future Industries breakfast, served just to the Avatar's liking."

  
"Thanks, Asami. It looks great." Asami was an excellent cook. You might think she'd follow that engineer stereotype where despite being geniuses they can't cook to save their lives, but Asami seemed to defy all stereotypes.

  
"Eggs and Komodo sausages for protein, you need to keep up your strength. I do have to say that this is way better than the vegetarian food on Air-Temple Island, no offense to Pema's cooking of course. But the lack of meat just wasn't cutting it for me." She had a sour grimace on her face similar to the time she had tried a sea prune.

  
"You're t-telling me," I talked around the bite of food in my mouth. "I grew up in the south, where we had meat four meals a day."

  
"Four?" Asami asked, like she had never heard of such a thing. Was that really not a thing here?

  
"Of course," I responded. "It was important a long time ago because of the harsher conditions. You needed to eat hearty meals as often as possible, and . . . I guess it just, stuck around . . .."

  
It was pretty strange now that I thought of it. It's not like it was that necessary with running water, heat, electricity, and sturdy buildings. But the south was full of little traditions like that. Things that weren't really necessary anymore or had any significant meaning, but were done anyways just because it was familiar or enjoyable.

  
"Huh, that's interesting," a thoughtful expression covered her face.

  
"So," I started. "Anything on the radar for today?"

  
"Well . . . it's the weekend now so I have a little free time, but I have some important things with the rebuild I'll have to take care of later. We can do anything we want, really. Go out for lunch . . . go see a pro-bending match; I'll have to talk to Bolin and see when they're starting that up again. I know they want to, but Mako has to fit it around his work schedule."

  
"Good for them, I hope they can win the championship this time. I'd join them again, but . . . well, you know."

  
She patted my shoulder timidly. If it was anyone else I'd probably be grumpy by now. In fact I know I would be grumpy.

  
Her face brightened up with an idea. "Oh, I know! We could take a stroll around Avatar Korra park. It's lovely being so close to it now."

  
"I, I don't know," I let out a sigh. "My legs are acting up again today, probably from this morning . . .."

  
The thought of having to face the outside world seemed unbearably much right now. It was so much easier to hide away from it all, where we could just relax and not have to deal with all the pressure and the headaches. It was perhaps somewhat selfish that I felt the desire to keep Asami to myself right now, since she spent so much of the rest of her time with the rest of the world.

  
"Oh, well in that case we can always have a nice, relaxing day in. I know I would certainly enjoy that. I can order takeout for lunch and have it delivered . . . that sound good to you?"

  
"Yeah, that sounds good." I let us trail into silence, diddling my thumbs as I thought about nothing in particular. The sausage was really juicy, my legs were still stinging, and from what I could see the vines covered a solid half of the park now.

  
The image of that statue came into mind suddenly, and I let out a huge laugh that almost sounded like a bark. "I still can't believe you built that for me . . . I don't feel like I've done anything that deserves a big statue with my face on it, but thanks I guess."

  
I smiled at her, which slid off my face when she started looking at me strangely.

  
"What?" I prompted. "I do think it's really great though, and what they did with the flowers is really cool and stuff."

  
"No, it's just, you . . . nevermind. It's nothing. I'm glad you like it though."

  
"Maybe we can go see it again tomorrow." I tried making it sound like a question. She started smiling again which put me at ease.

  
"Sure, that'd be great."

  
Maybe I wasn't hopeless at this whole friend thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As stated in the summary, this will be a series of connected one-shots depicting important moments from Korra's life. I have an ending planned, although the number of chapters is up in the air. Probably more than 30, possibly 40+. The ending will tie up the style of presentation in a way that I feel is nice, but you can see and decide for yourself I guess. I have some exciting ideas (IMO) prepared, but I haven't planned out every chapter yet.
> 
> What I'm going for in this story is making it as realistic as possible. That doesn't mean "as close to what Mike and Bryan would do as possible", but rather I want it to feel like you're reading a real person's thoughts and emotions. I want people to be able to immerse themselves to the point where what's happening to Korra is happening to you in your own mind. Obviously that's hard to do and I'm not spectacular by any means, so advice is greatly appreciated.
> 
> To achieve this, there are a couple things that need to be noted. One is that if Korra doesn't understand something, it's likely you won't either. Or it'll be subtle to the point you have to read in-between the lines. The dialogue will also try to convey some realism, which means that because people don't talk perfectly all the time it may be confusing or broken-sounding to you. I'm also trying to stick to a "show don't tell" rule, which means that I won't try to lecture information. It'll be carried in dialogue, subtle references, foreshadowing, or just plain not explained and left for your imagination to fill in the blanks with whatever seems best to you. What Korra won't do is put on a soliloquy and explain everything in precise detail.


	2. Chapter 2

_“Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire.”  
_ Samuel Johnson

 

“Hey girl…” I cooed as I gave Naga her tummy scritches, taking in the now slightly familiar scent of hay and Bison droppings mixed with the tangy smell of salt water. Naga for her part whined like a lost puppy being reunited with the pack, although in a way she sort-of was. Her left hind-leg flailed wildly when I reached that one ticklish spot on her side.

  
Resigning myself for a good ten minutes of this torture, I grunted and cracked my back . . . _spoiled brat_. She opened her eyes and stared at me like she knew what I was thinking. I swatted her on the paw and she gave out a playful bark.

  
“She seems to be enjoying herself . . ..” I spun around, scritches forgotten, and found myself face to face with Tenzin’s wife.

  
“Pema . . . !” My heart pounded. For not being an airbender, she was devilishly good at sneaking up on you. “I was going to come in and say hi first, but I got sidetracked . . ..”

  
“I seem to remember you saying something like that the day you first got here.” She said teasingly. “Naga’s missed you.”

   
“Yeah, I hadn’t seen her in almost a week this time,” I said sheepishly, bringing my hands back to her tummy before she started complaining. It was not a good idea to ignore her for long.

   
Pema walked up next to me, giving an approving glance at the brat below. Her hair, while bound tightly, was still blown slightly askew from being outside.

   
“So, how’ve you been?” She said, lightly scratching Naga behind her ear. I briefly wondered if she had visited before.

   
“Oh, we’ve been good. Tired, but good. Asami’s had a lot of late nights . . . with the rebuild and all. Her warehouses were trashed by Kuvira’s giant mecha thing, but she’s still going strong. She said something about keeping a lot of cash reserves this time around, which helped a lot; Fire Nation bonds or something like that. Low risk, beta something-or-other, I’ve never been able to make heads or tails from the finance stuff.”

   
She giggled, covering her mouth as she did so. “We . . . ? I asked how _you_ were doing.”

   
I blushed, suddenly aware of my blunder.

   
“Oh, well, ya know. Some days good, others not so much. But she’s helped me a lot through all that.”

   
“I can tell. You do seem to be doing better now that all that war stuff is past us.”

   
“Really?” I asked, a little lost in thought. I hadn’t really felt different, but I knew Pema was good at picking up on that sort of thing. She was like a . . . a tiger shark, or something. But instead of fish she hunted feelings.

   
“Of course! We all see how well you two get along. You’re practically living together now.”

   
I laughed. “Ah, I wouldn’t say that, we just spend a lot of time together when she’s not busy. Which by the way, is it alright if I stay for a couple days? Asami’s spending some time holed up at the factory, and, well . . ..”

   
“You know, I don’t think she minds if you stay there without her. I mean she even gave you your own key.” She winked at me for reasons unknown.

  
“Oh, that thing. Pfftt I just metalbend the lock open.”

   
“Well . . . I, I guess that works too.”

   
“But, I mean, I dunno. It just feels a little weird.” I glance back at her out of the corner of my eye and find her smiling knowingly at me, a soft look on her face.

   
“You’re welcome at any time, you know that. The kids love having you around. And I can understand why you’d feel weird. It’s just a little new is all. Give it some time, and it’ll all feel completely natural before long.”

   
“Thanks.” Down below Naga had fallen asleep, a tendril of drool leaking out of her mouth. “Gross, Naga!”

   
“Tenzin would love to see you again too, but I’m afraid he won’t be back until late tomorrow.” She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, then started heading out.

   
“I uhh . . . really? Dang, I was hoping he’d be around. I need to talk to him actually.”

   
Pema hesitated at the door. “Anything wrong? I’d love to help however I can.”

   
“I uhh, well . . . maybe. But like, can you keep this between us? I just . . . feel like I should be doing something more right now. I feel like I’m slacking off . . ..”

   
“Korra,” she spoke softly as she walked back over to me. “You’ve done more than anyone else. You took the weight of the world on your shoulders multiple times. After everything you’ve gone through, if anyone deserves a break it’s you.”

   
“But things are still messed up in the Earth Kingdom. Asami’s been telling me stories. Ever since Kuvira lost all that territory, bandits have been swarming all over the place. There’s so many of them. I should be putting a stop to that.”

   
I felt like I was whining too much lately. So what if I had a bad leg or two now, I shouldn’t be able to _take a break_ when the world still needs me. It’s my job, and I can’t just throw up excuses to try and get out of it.

   
“I’m not some master on world affairs, I’ll be the first to say that. But the fact that there’s so many proves why this is a job better left to the airbenders and all the soldiers. You’re just one person Korra. Even if you’re the Avatar, you can’t be everywhere at once. And believe me, no one blames you for not being on the front lines right now.”

   
“But still, there must be some way I could help . . ..” It felt like I was almost pleading.

   
“Well,” she hesitated again. “You’re a waterbender. You were trained to heal by Katara, right?”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Some of the airbenders get some minor wounds from the peacekeeping and the training they’re doing. If you really want to, you could try and help heal them. Kya gets a little swamped at times and she could use a day off.”

   
“Thanks Pema, I’ll do that.” Relief flooded through me.

   
I didn’t want to admit it, but it wasn’t even just wanting to help that was bothering me. There was always something to do my whole life, training, fighting, _something_ . . . so now, all of a sudden I just had nothing to do. I didn’t know what to do. What would someone my age do for fun? Asami was too busy all the time, and the brothers were off doing their own thing now.

   
“Was that all Korra? Or something else on your mind?” She placed a hand on my shoulder.

   
“Nope, no that’s it.” I tried smiling.

   
“Okayyy . . . well if you need anything else, let me know. We’re having dumplings for lunch so don’t be late!” She disappeared behind the door, leaving me all alone with my drooling, sleeping polar bear dog.

   
“Right,” I said to myself before following her footsteps, carefully closing the door so that it wouldn’t squeak. Stupid airbenders and their alternative methods of rust prevention.

   
The second I stepped outside it was like being assaulted by hurricane-strength winds, so a normal day on Air-Temple Island. The ocean winds swept over the island like a wave crashing over a beach; It was easy to see why Aang built his home here of all places. Air and wind, it was his life. And on a day like this, not a cloud in the sky and the sun shining down your back, it was really quite amazing. Asami really liked it here, but she didn’t get to visit nearly as often as she would like.

   
I hobbled my way up the rocky path, the sound of frothy waves crashing into the cliff-face filling my ears. I resolved to visit Aang’s grave before the end of the day. Maybe I was just getting sentimental all of a sudden, but I felt like I missed him somehow. Like I needed to be closer to him.

  
A moment later I was pushing my way inside the house, greeted by the sight of sleeping airbender kids curled up on the couch. Pema had called us yesterday saying the kids had just returned from their mission, so they must still be exhausted. It wasn’t often you found an airbender child asleep on such a beautiful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as an aside, I'll try to imply how much time has passed between chapters. It may be in the current chapter, foreshadowed in the previous one, or even multiple chapters beforehand. Sometimes it might not be explained how much time has passed, and then you can just come up with whatever seems to make sense given the events surrounding it. It often won't even matter much, it's just a way to make the chapters seem more connected.


	3. Chapter 3

_“Lighten up on yourself. No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness.”_  
Deborah Day

 

A cold trickle crept down my face as my sweat started beading. I grunted, heaving the last box up using my back and letting it slam down on the bed of the truck. The healer's words telling me to take it easier whispered faintly in my ears, which I resolutely ignored. No one got better by sitting around doing nothing all day.  


Leaning back for a second against the cool metal felt like bliss; the hairs on my arm crept up on end when they came into contact with the still dewy surface. Off in the distance I heard something heavy slam down with a thundering clash and the jingle of chains and gears. Grudgingly I forced myself up to see what Asami was doing.  


The door to the garage was closed and she was standing there burning a hole in the discolored metal with her eyes as if it had personally offended her somehow. She didn't even notice me as I walked up to her side.

  
"Asami . . .?"  


She startled slightly before turning towards me, fixing her piercing eyes on my face instead. Her wide, bright, green eyes . . . very . . . green . . ..

  
"What? Is everything set?" She spoke with what seemed like a slight edge to her words.

  
It was a little upsetting when she tried to hide her pain, but I couldn't really complain seeing as how I did the exact same thing to her.

  
"Yeah . . . you know, you don't have to do this." I tried to console her, but the words felt weak as they came out.

  
"I do. There's more important things for me to do than tinker with my toys. The financial aspect of the company is too demanding, and . . . and I'd rather spend some of the extra time with you." The last part came out almost as a whisper.

  
My eyes snapped back up, but she was avidly avoiding my gaze now. My stomach felt like it was doing a series of twists and turns, and a rush of emotion welled up for the girl in front of me. The brilliant engineer who could dance circles around any foe, but would wring her wrists timidly when she had to deal with her feelings.

  
"Asami," I hesitated, touched.

  
"I don't want to ignore you all the time like I've been doing. I'd rather spend time with you than sit alone in a garage, and now we might even be able to take that vacation you were talking about. It's all mostly a waste of time anyways, it rarely leads to something that I can share with the company."

  
"If you're enjoying yourself, it's not a waste of time," I said with a shrug, although I was happy she wasn't just putting the extra time back into the company. She worked herself too hard, and it can't be good for her health.

  
She sighed and fell silent again. Her forehead was all creased like when she was stressed or when something was bothering her, and I knew she was still hiding something.

  
"Everything all right?" I put a hand on her shoulder, mimicking Pema's gesture from last week. "If I could help in any way . . .."

  
She stayed silent and maintained her study of the metal garage. I removed my hand and tried to think of things we could do that might take her mind off of whatever was bothering her instead. I toyed with a few half-decent ideas but nothing seemed promising enough. Lunch was one, I mean we'd have to eat soon anyways, but I'd have to talk up a storm to distract her.

  
"Raiko visited me yesterday," she suddenly spoke. A few moments passed as I waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

  
"What'd the weasel want?" I tried to get a smile from her but failed miserably.

  
"He was asking for cash donations to help the city's financial situation . . . I, I turned him down . . .."

  
Well that was curious, it wasn't like her to say no like that. She always tried to help people. There must be a reason, although given it was Raiko I wouldn't blame her if there wasn't. Sniveling coward.

  
"I'm sure you had your reasons." I spoke evenly, not wanting to upset her. She had this panicked, queasy look on her face.

  
"I felt like, if I just gave them Future Industries money, it'd give me too much influence. If I asked for something, they couldn't exactly say no to me. It'd put me in a powerful position, and it'd make my company control the city to some degree. But . . . but I feel like I might have messed up. There are so many people hurting, and I could put an end to it . . . well, what do you think?" She finally turned to me again, a pleading look in her eye.

  
"You're already helping people, even if you're not funneling it through Raiko. You provided shelter and clean water to so many people who lost their homes they're thinking of making yet another statue. I wanna ask though, what about having that kind of influence worries you? If it were me I wouldn't mind skipping the stupid red tape all the time," I snorted. Dealing with bureaucracy was as much of a nightmare as everyone always said.

  
"It's just . . . it's not right, and I don't like it. I don't worry for myself though, I think I wouldn't do anything wrong with that kind of power. But I won't control the company forever, you know? Eventually, I'm going to have to pass it down to someone else, and then I can't control or prevent anything from happening."

  
"That makes sense," I reassured her. "I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. But if he went to you, does that mean he'd go to other companies?"

  
"I doubt it. Thankfully, the only other companies with enough capital to spare are Cabbage Corp. and Varrick Industries, and he certainly doesn't trust either of them."

  
"Well, nothing to worry about then! Now c'mon," I started dragging her by the arm back to the truck. "I'm taking you to Narook's and you're gonna have to deal with it."

  
"But you're the one who helped me today," she said, laughing. "Shouldn't I be treating you?"

  
"I'm the avatar, I bend the rules. You better hope I don't ever have access to millions of yuans." I joked.

  
She mumbled something, but I didn't quite catch it.

  
"What was that? Didn't hear."

  
"Nothing!" she said with what I thought might have been a light blush on her cheeks. Asami never blushed though, so maybe it was just my imagination. A trick of the light just starting to shine down from the sky.


	4. Chapter 4

_“There was a sky somewhere above the tops of the buildings, with stars and a moon and all the things there are in a sky, but they were content to think of the distant street lights as planets and stars. If the lights prevented you from seeing the heavens, then perform a little magic and change reality to fit the need. The street lights were now planets and stars and moon.”_  
Hubert Selby Jr.

 

“It should be right around the corner here,” Asami dragged me along by the hand, her face lit up with a bright smile.

  
She had been alternating between excited, nervous, and grossed out ever since I had convinced her to try sushi with me on her birthday. While she was back to being excited, it was unknown how long that would last.

  
“I hope this place is nice, but I probably wouldn’t be able to tell just from the food since I’m so new to this. They did say good things about it though, so . . ..”

  
It was so like her to worry and fret over the littlest of things. I wish I could get her to just relax for a little while, I mean, it was even her birthday and she was still stressed out.

  
“Asami, relax. If this place is swanky enough that you had to force me in a dress, then I’m sure it’ll be great. Besides, all you have to do is say you’re with the Avatar and they’ll fall heads over heels trying to please us.” I gave her a shit-eating grin.

  
“Shut up,” she playfully hit me on the shoulder. “Your over-inflated head is going to explode one of these days.”

  
I laughed while jumping over a large puddle in the middle of the sidewalk. Asami, having worn high heels, chose to walk around it instead. I stuck out my tongue at her, wondering in the back of my mind why I was in such a good mood right now.

  
The restaurant we were heading to was similar in many ways to Kuong’s Cuisine, which had unfortunately been destroyed by the creation of the portal. It had the same flashy neon lights, the same fancy red-carpet steps, the same overdressed rich people hanging right outside the door looking like they owned the place. Maybe they did, who knows.

  
It had been drizzling for most of the day, and the streetlights shined on the pavement in a way that I had to admit looked very pretty. Each droplet of water reflected the light from above, looking like a star in the southern night skies. When you stared into the distance, the thousands of droplets shimmered and twinkled in a radiant display that stretched for as far as you could see. I guess in the city, the stars in the pavement had replaced the stars in the skies. I’m not sure which I preferred, but they were both interesting in their own unique ways.

  
“Promise you’ll help me with this so I won’t look like a complete fool?” She asked.

  
I wrenched my gaze back towards her. Was she serious?

  
“Of course,” I snorted. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  
She shrugged in response and a sudden wave of insecurity washed over me. Maybe she didn’t automatically expect that from me. I liked to think that we’d grown pretty close over the past couple of years, especially considering Pema’s constant comments about it, but I know I’ve been pretty lousy in the past. I could never apologize about the whole deal with Mako. _Every_ single time I tried . . ..

  
“I don’t think you could possibly look like a fool,” I quietly stated as we walked up the fancy steps, wondering again if I was doing this _friend_ thing right. I had _thought_ . . . but what did I really know?

  
“You’d be surprised,” was her response.

  
“If you’re a fool then I lack a brain entirely.” She started smiling again. Good, that’s good.

  
A butler approached us as soon as we had reached the top step and gave a deep bow. “Miss Sato, right this way please.”

  
Every single person recognized her the moment she came into sight. I’m not sure how it made me feel honestly. Sort of uneasy, like my stomach was turning over and over. I couldn’t figure it out, but if it was bothering me then it bothered me more than when unfamiliar people knew who I was. I swear the White Lotus should have taught me people skills so I could figure this stuff out, but right now I was just useless.

  
“Hey,” she took my hand in hers giving me this soft look.

  
And just like that, I felt better. Like she knew all of my insecurities, and through wordless communication she was telling me that it was okay. You’re fine, please don’t worry.

  
We stepped through the throngs of tables and chairs in silence, not wanting to break the moment that continued despite the noise around us. The waiter gestured, and we took our seats. He handed us our menus, took our drinks, and ventured off to someplace else.

  
“So,” Asami finally spoke up. “You’re the master here, tell me what to do.”

  
“I figured we could share a combo platter, and then order a couple specialty rolls or other tidbits on the side.” I gave her an eager smile, ready to share with her something new.

  
“Roger that.” She opened the menu, giving it a brief glance-through. “You’ll have to explain what all this means though, because I can’t make heads or tails from it. I imagine this is how you feel when I show you my blueprints.”

  
I moved my chair closer, but then got up to sit on the edge of hers so I could lean over and point at things.

  
“Some of the west and southwest tips of the Earth Kingdom have their own language, and since sushi originally came from these places it became tradition to use the original names.” I explained. “It’s showing respect to the original culture. Something I, uh, learned on my travels . . ..”

  
“You’ll have to tell me all about that someday. I’m surprised though, I thought it would have came from the south pole seeing as how it’s the capital of the fish market.”

  
“You’re right on that,” I smiled. “But the concept was created long before the south regained its strength after the hundred year war. It began in a lot of small, poor fishing villages where the fish was freshest. But when we could freeze the fish to get rid of growing parasites and transport it further than before, it became a rich person thing. At least here in the city, back in the south everyone eats it.”

  
I began pouring over the lists, pointing at the ones she might like.

  
“Sake is salmon, I know you like that. Toro is blue-fin tuna, which can only be found in southern waters. It’s part of why we became the fish capital, it’s hugely popular. Uhhh… avoid uni, it’s sea urchin. You probably wouldn’t like it.”

  
“I don’t know, maybe I’m feeling adventurous.” She gave me a small playful smirk out of the corner of her mouth. “I did agree to this after all, so I might as well go all the way.”

  
I laughed at the image flashing through my mind of Asami trying it and immediately gagging while running towards the bathroom. So maybe not.

  
“Ehh, still . . . I don’t think it’d be a good idea. If you want to be adventurous though, try something with unagi. That’s freshwater eel. It’s not huge in the south seeing as how we can’t fish it ourselves, but it’s still pretty good.”

  
“I’ll bow to your judgement, great avatar.”

  
“Shut it,” I laughed and smacked her lightly on the arm. “Don’t you dare start calling me that again.”

  
She mumbled something I couldn’t quite catch, but I had a feeling I knew what it was.

  
“Asami Sato, brilliant engineer and gifted CEO . . . Likes to make fun of people under her breath.” We both laughed.

  
The moment we were ready, the waiter appeared out of thin air. I ordered our meals and he twirled away with a flourish. It was funny how they kept doing that. It must be a part of the rich dining experience or something.

  
“I’m impressed though. You seem to know a lot about the fish industry and the origins of this sushi business.” Her eyes twinkled with admiration and I felt my face grow a little heated.

  
“Oh, it’s nothing really. You know, from the south ‘n all. We all know it. If I wasn’t the avatar, that’s probably what I’d be doing. Either fishing or working on the harbor.”

  
“Oh I doubt that, with your father being the chief and all. I feel like you’d be doing something great regardless of your avatar status.”

  
Man it was hot in here.

  
“Well, thanks . . ..”

  
“You believe me, right?” She had this questioning glance, and it felt like she could see right through me.

  
This close to her, I could see she was wearing her expensive dark-red lipstick tonight. Not that her everyday makeup was cheap or anything. It was all imported from Ba Sing Se since all the luxury brands were produced there due to the closer access to . . . wait wasn’t she asking something?

  
“Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

  
“Good, because it’s true.”

  
I awkwardly fumbled for a way to change the subject, before just lapsing into silence. Luckily she dropped it and started gazing fondly around the room, taking in all the sights. It was an interesting restaurant for sure. The style was a fusion of Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe culture done in a way that seemed to work. I was pretty far from an expert though.

  
“It was good to see the guys again the other day,” I suddenly spoke up.

  
“Yeah, it was. Bolin seems like he has big plans for the future after their little probending escape. I hope everything goes well for him, and Opal too. I wonder when their wedding will be?”

  
I laughed. “I wouldn’t put it past Bolin, but I think it’s a little early to talk about that.”

  
Our first course arrived just then. It wasn’t anything too crazy, but it was still garnished in that way fancy restaurants like to do. Spicy tuna with a house sauce, topped with roe, scallions, and a bit of spicy crab. A generous helping of ginger on the side, as well as a dab of wasabi.

  
I grinned at the suddenly green face of Asami as we picked up our chopsticks.

  
“You ready?” I smirked.

  
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she grumbled, muttering something about the word raw.

  
“It’s not so bad. This is a good beginner step before eating a big hunkin’ slice of sashimi. That’ll come later with the combo, but you can always skip it if you don’t want to.”

  
“No! No, I’m doing it. I can do this.” She put on this determined look, but I could still see the nervousness behind it. It was one of the things I admired about her. She might be scared or nervous, but she never tried to run away from it. I couldn’t say the same about myself in the past as much as I hated to admit it.

  
I showed her how to dip it in the soy sauce I had poured out, luckily she already knew how to use chopsticks, and watched her take the first bite. She adopted this confused expression on her face as she slowly turned the food over in her mouth, but I couldn’t make out what her full reaction was. She swallowed.

  
“That’s . . . that’s interesting.”

  
I waited for the verdict.

  
“Not bad though, but interesting. The seaweed is different. I know it’s in the noodles everywhere, but like this it’s interesting.”

  
“So, you like it?” I asked.

  
“Yeah,” she smiled. “Yeah, I do.”

  
“Good, cause there’s no way I can eat all this on my own.”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

_“The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.”_  
Astrid Alauda

 

The distant sound of blaring horns maintained its steady rate, and I knew from experience that it would last all throughout the night. Every night, without fail. Weekend, holiday, it didn’t matter. And the nerve of some of those drivers . . . they’d mess up and they’d still honk and scream and spit at you. It made me too nervous to try and start driving again.

  
I pushed the covers off so I wouldn’t keep accidentally elbowing Asami in the side. At least one of us could sleep tonight.

  
Counting the time between each car horn seemed like a reasonable way to pass the time . . . _one second, two seconds, thr-_ . . . and there went another. The highest I had counted so far was seven. In the middle of the night. It was ridiculous.

  
Turning slightly in our bed Asami’s face entered my view, framed from behind by the pale moonlight slipping through the cracks in the curtains. Being the middle of the night she wasn’t wearing her usual makeup. It was interesting how I was one of the only people who got to see her that way, ever. Her receptionist had never seen Asami on a bad day, she didn’t have servants anymore who would see her on the way to the bathroom . . . even when she was with our friends or with Tenzin’s family she always had it on. She was beautiful like always though. The makeup didn’t matter, but whenever I try to convince her of that she just blushes and denies it.

  
It was obvious why I couldn’t sleep though. Nerves because of the trip, our trip, tomorrow. We had been preparing for a solid week, ever since our schedules had been freed up. I wanted everything about this trip to be perfect because she deserved it, but if past experiences are anything to judge by, nothing I plan ever goes the way I had intended it to.

  
I also still couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated. She was this amazing, powerful, compassionate, beautiful person inside and out, why she picked _me_ of all people to be close friends with I couldn’t understand.

  
She grumbled in her sleep again, so as carefully as I could I removed myself from the bed. _Let her sleep_ . . . I reasoned. A glass of water sounded nice right about now, and I wasn’t getting anything accomplished here.

  
Tiptoeing out of the room, I headed towards the kitchen. On the counter sat some new invention that filtered the impurities from water somehow. Asami had tried to explain it to me but it was too confusing. It seemed to work though, the water tasted cleaner and it felt slightly different to bend. It was slippery, but more responsive to my touch. Hard to control, but when you mastered it you had a finer degree of precision. Asami had likened it to the steering in her high-quality cars compared to the cheaper ones.

  
I lifted it out of the container as I fetched a tall glass from the cupboard.

  
The large window I liked so much stood out among the gray walls, drawing me closer. It was a full moon tonight, I could tell even before I sat down and peered outside. The gentle push and pull on my soul calmed me as much as it could, but it wasn’t quite enough. I still felt unsettled for one reason or another.

  
Asami’s apartment was fairly high up in the building. High enough that I had to take the elevator, but low enough that I could use my staff to fly up and land on the balcony. I typically avoided that though because it was hard to tell which one was hers from the outside. Plus people tended to stare.

  
It also meant that those infernal cars were just barely within hearing distance. I could see their little headlights zooming around each other in some sort of congested deathmatch. It had to be at least two in the morning and they were still goin’ at it.

  
What would we find in the spirit world when we got there . . .? Iroh maybe, if we could find him. Certainly a lot of spirits which hopefully would all be nice enough. Wan Shi Tong’s library was a terrible idea unfortunately. I bet she would love it there, she could nerd out to her heart’s content pouring over all sorts of tomes or drawings or whatever bits of history she might find interesting. Wearing that crooked smile as she did so, which she vehemently denies is a thing.

  
And then . . . an idea passed through me. I sat frozen, trying to process it through my mind. What if . . . okay so, Iroh was in the spirit world, who else might also be? Who could be? Someone who had a strong connection to the spirit world, and you know who had the strongest spiritual connection out of anyone?

  
No, I’d rather not think about that right now. But still . . . what if . . . I could fix what I took away from Tenzin and his family . . ..

  
My glass was empty the next time I lifted it to my lips, how did that happen so fast? I turned to the clock in the room and it said it was half past three. Shrugging, I left the glass on the counter and started walking back to our room.

  
There I found Asami still wrapped in the covers in the exact same way I left her, a soft expression on her face. _She needed this_ . . . a break, a rest from her company. I couldn’t let my other issues take away from that. This trip was for her and her alone.

  
She grumbled as I tried slipping inside the remaining blanket, her right eye creaking open. “K-Korra . . .?”

  
“Shhh . . .” my finger trailed down her cheek seemingly of its own accord. My heart thumped loudly, but I somehow felt more at-ease than before. “Go back to sleep.”

  
The green vanished as she drifted off again. I suddenly felt warm and comfortable, my stomach tingling similarly to before but in a way that left me content and whole instead of nervous and afraid. The outside noises from before seemed to melt away, and the next thing I knew I was snuggled up against her and letting the darkness overtake me.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

_“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”_  
Alexander Graham Bell

 

It was like each step forward was an exciting and unique experience. Unlike the times in the past where I was either rushing or dealing with negative emotions, we had as much quality time as we wanted to view the woods around us.

  
The trees sighed in the wind, leaves fluttering and dancing like they were overjoyed at our presence. Spirits flitted through the branches, calling out to each other in trills and songs and whispers. There was no sun, but the world seemed to glow with happiness no matter where we turned.

  
“You mentioned that Iroh lived here,” Asami quietly spoke, being careful not to disturb the tranquility. “General Iroh, uncle of Fire Lord Zuko?”

  
“That’s the one,” I happily confirmed. It seemed certain that we would end up there sooner or later. The spirit world had a habit of placing you where you needed to be.

  
Up ahead, there were a couple of spirits chasing each other around in circles. As we got closer they scampered up the bark of the trees and watched us pass, chattering loudly among themselves. There were many spirits that resembled the animals in the physical world, and many more that bore no resemblance to anything.

  
“If Iroh lives here, are there any other humans . . .?”

  
“Well,” I spoke, bemused. “I’m sure there must be others, although I haven’t had the opportunity to meet any of them yet. Maybe during our trip we’ll run into someone.”

  
“You make it sound like there aren’t very many,” she spoke almost dejectedly. “Can any human join the spirit world after they die, or only a select few? How would they come here if they chose to?”

  
I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, studying her. She looked down at her feet as she walked, clearly bothered by something. Her mouth was a tight line and her brow was slightly furrowed.

  
I tried thinking back to Tenzin’s lectures. “Only a few. They had to have had a strong connection with the spiritual world.”

  
“Of course,” she muttered.

  
And then it hit me.

  
She was thinking of her father still, whether or not she would be able to find him here. Hiroshi was many things but spiritually strong he was not, and I had pretty much crushed her only hope of being reunited with him. I tried searching my mind for some way of comforting her, before she solved the dilemma by taking my hand in her own.

  
I looked at her again questioningly, but she was still avoiding my gaze. So I settled to walking in silence as we swung our hands back and forth. My ears perked up at the sound of trickling water off in the distance.

  
“What happens to us . . . after we die?”

  
A question that’s asked innocently so often, but I knew that this time it was anything but.

  
“Well, the old airbenders used to say that all humans were reincarnated, not just the avatar. Tenzin talked about this a few times, but, uhmm . . . the idea was that, that because of Raava, all my past lives were a part of me in a way where I could see and talk with them. But for everyone else, when they’re reincarnated they forget their past lives. The same spiritual self still walks around the world, just with a different shell around it.”

  
“So if someone died, you might be able to find them again?” A hopeful look crossed her face and I squeezed her hand extra tight.

  
“You might never know who they were, but yes it’s possible.” We stood there for a moment staring comfortably into each others’ eyes, and a rush of affection washed over me. I was glad that despite everything that had happened, she was still by my side.

  
The trickling sound of water was louder now. It’d be a nice place to take a rest for a while, so I motioned for her to follow as I headed in the direction the sound seemed to be coming from. We could get a drink of water, maybe heal any blisters or sore spots . . . we had been walking for quite a while now.

  
Soon enough, we came across a little pond that encircled an even littler island. Backed by a sharp rock face with a serene waterfall misting the waters, it was a perfect little hideaway. Like everywhere else in the spirit world, it was as pristine as Asami’s mansion.

  
I could hear a quiet moan of relief by my side at the sight of a stopping point.

  
“Let’s fill our canteens first, then we can rest for a little while,” I said while reaching to the side of my pack.

  
Asami, always one step ahead, was already unscrewing hers while crouching down by the water’s edge. I moved to join her, until unexpectedly I was thrown on my back wheezing with the wind knocked out of me.

  
“Oomph . . .,” was all I could manage as a second thump sounded nearby.

  
“ _Filthy Humans_! What do you _think_ you’re doing?! Stealing water from _my_ oasis?” A shrill voice split my ears.

  
I pushed myself up on my elbows to get a look of the upright fox-like spirit that had apparently picked me up and thrown me like a ragdoll.

  
“W-wait . . . Aye-Aye?” I coughed, turning to see if Asami was all right. She looked fine.

  
“My _sacred_ water is contaminated now, thanks to the likes of . . . wait, how do a couple of _humans_ know my name?” He spoke, bewildered. “Humans don’t care for names, or titles, or _respect_ , they just go around killing anything that stands in their way!”

  
“Aye-Aye, it’s me, Korra! The avatar, Wan, remember?” I picked myself up off the ground, cringing at the pain lancing up my side. He still looked confused. “I, uhh . . . w-what was it, umm, Stinky?”

  
“Stinky?! No, that can’t be right. You’re completely different now.”

  
“Well yeah,” I grunted. “I’m reincarnated every once in a while, so-”

  
“I know all about your _avatar cycle_ , avatar. Many of your past lives used to visit me, and to be fair, unlike most humans they actually decent. But that is not what I meant.”

  
I wondered how Asami was still silent after all this verbal abuse. I mean, yeah we had Yakone, and Noatak, and Ozai, and Zaheer, and the Earth Queen, and Kuvira, but humans weren’t that bad!

  
“Well what did you mean, then?” I grumbled.

  
“I mean that you _feel_ different,” he poked and sniffed me for good measure, leaving me very uncomfortable. “I don’t recognize you. You’re completely different from the others.”

  
A cold pit of fear settled deep down in my gut at his words. _Different from the others, different . . . not connected. Something else . . ._

  
“Well her role has changed,” Asami finally spoke up, her voice sounding like it was carried on the wind from far away. “She’s a different avatar now. A new avatar for a new age of the world.”

  
The words didn’t make me feel better. I felt, so . . . alone. Lost.

  
“A _new_ avatar, huh? Well, I’ll have to consider this then.”

  
We stood blankly, waiting.

  
An even more disgruntled face came over him. “I was _hoping_ for a few years to think about this, but you _humans_ are always so impatient. _Fine_ . . . I’ll allow you to stay, on one condition. I would like to learn all about this _new avatar_ business.”

  
 _A few years, who does he think he is?_ It took a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. How could Wan like this guy?

  
.

  
.

  
I closed my eyes, content as the wind gently ruffled my hair. The occasional flower petal would tickle my face, carrying it’s light cherry fragrance with it. It was tranquil, peaceful, relaxing, everything I had hoped for during all the planning.

  
Being hours away from that damned spirit didn’t hurt things either.

  
Asami gave off a quiet sigh next to me, no doubt enjoying the moment as well. For once, we were completely alone. No spirits nearby jumping or running or whispering, surrounded only by hundreds of blooming cherry blossom trees. Their flowers filled the space around you as they fell, so thick that you could catch several with one swipe of your hand.

  
I turned over on my side, gazing back at a set of green eyes that had been intently studying me. Neither of us broke away, but there was no awkwardness, no blushing, no stammering. Just smiles and joy. It felt intimate in a way far beyond anything I had experienced.

  
A dozen thoughts spun around in my head, but nothing that seemed to jump out and make itself known above the others. I thought about what Aye-Aye had said about me, about how everyone else seemed to be moving forward in their lives, about how the city really seemed to be picking itself up faster than anyone had predicted, about how my stomach seemed to do a complicated series of flips whenever I got too close to the woman by my side and how confusing it all seemed. Nothing ever seemed to make any sense to me when it came to people, although I felt like it should be as clear as day.

  
There were so many things I wanted to do in this moment. I wanted to thank her for always sticking by me, holding me when I had night terrors or lifting my spirits on a bad day. I wanted to comfort her because although she denied and tried to hide it, I knew that the death of her father had really shaken her up. I wanted to be an amazing avatar for her and help her with fixing the city and the rest of the world, because I knew that she was nervous about the huge responsibility. I wanted to be able to help and take care of her, like what she had done for me when I had hit the lowest point in my life.

  
I wanted to do all of these things, but I couldn’t. So instead I took her hand and clutched it tightly and hoped that it was enough.

  
Her hair was filled with flower petals. As the wind blew, some would break free and join the rest in the sky before being quickly replaced. She looked happy and serene and carefree and beautiful and perfect.

  
There was so much I wanted to say and do, but I was content to just hold her hand for now. _It seemed like enough._

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

_“If pain doesn't lead to humility, you have wasted your suffering.”_  
Katerina Stoykova Klemer

 

“Once we figured out we couldn’t get rid of the vines, we started incorporating them into the artwork and the design layout. Like over here, this one was particularly troublesome because it was blocking some of the water-lines, so we had to . . ..”

  
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she had already explained all this the first time we had taken a stroll through the renamed park, so instead I just followed her around acting surprised and nodding my head at all the right moments. I just couldn’t help it, she was so excited and happy.

  
The park had definitely changed since the last time I was here though. A giant section closer to the portal had been ripped apart, and the rest was torn or haggard or unkept. I figured that all the construction crews were still working on repairing the rest of the city, which I had to agree was more important than fixing parks. Even if it _was_ my park.

  
“How long do you think it’ll take for the construction to finish?” I asked her, accidentally interrupting a long-winded explanation about the underground mesh of vine roots.

  
“It’s, uhh . . . well it’s hard to say, really. The city’s still in hazard mode, keeping the bare essentials running only. Parts of the Dragon Flats district still don’t even have electricity up and running. I’d say a few more months until things start to shape up, but it’ll take years to reach normalcy again. We’ve only just started the planning for the expansions . . ..”

  
It still surprised me, even though it shouldn’t, how long these things take.

  
“Raiko still bullheaded and obstructing everything?” I snorted.

  
“Oh shush,” she said lightly. “He’s just doing his job. He has to consider it from all angles and that takes time.”

  
We stopped walking and stared up at the giant statue of me. It was still slightly unnerving, seeing myself all stony and with a grim expression on my face. I looked . . . fierce. Combative, like I’m about to punch somebody.

  
“It’s a little crooked,” I pointed out, a teasing smile on my face.

  
“Yeah yeah, well get to this eventually. At least it’s not broken though. And besides, I kind of like it this way.”

  
“Yeah?” I asked, glancing at her from the edge of my vision.

  
“Yeah. It’s like, despite all the destruction surrounding you, you’re still standing strong and unbroken. You might bend under pressure, but you never give up. You’re a provider of hope for all the people around you, who look up to you and see someone fighting until their last breath to bring back balance,” she snorted. “Heh . . . _balance_. The statue’s crooked, it’s a pun . . ..”

  
“You have a way with words,” I shoved her, my face a little heated. _Stop that_.

  
She righted herself and gestured around her. “Just look around, what do you see?”

  
Turning all around, I saw people . . . people walking in every direction, taking in the devastation with smiles and pleased expressions. I saw how couples leaned in to each other, and how children ran ahead from their parents full of joy. I saw them wave to us, happy to see me instead of with looks of disgust or fear. They’d poke the others around them and nod or gesture towards us, breaking out in wide grins.

  
I saw how every single one of them was still so full of hope, despite everything terrible that had happened to them. Their eyes twinkled like the street lights on a rainy night, and they revolved around us like planets around a sun. They were an immeasurable number of stars circulating a galaxy, surrounded by the cacophony of light that is the infiniteness of the universe.

  
Asami said that I provided hope because I kept on fighting, but was that not true of everyone else here?

  
A hand brushed my face, fingers nimbly wiping away the tears I hadn’t even known existed.

  
“You caused that,” she said softly. “You gave that to them. Before you arrived they were nothing. Broken, without lasting hope, willing to bow down to the Triple Threats forever. You’ve changed us so much, Korra . . ..”

  
The world seemed to be spinning out of control.

  
“Can we sit down for a moment?” I choked out, feeling unsteady on my feet.

  
She guided me to a bench not far away, and I heavily fell down on it. An arm wrapped around my shoulder as we took a moment of silence, the salty breeze a refreshing comfort on my face. A flock of birds flew past us, some of which landed in the grass and chatted amongst themselves in their own sort of language. Machinery hummed in the distance, the uniformity broken by the occasional crash or bang. And the whispers surrounded me, just quiet enough that I couldn’t make them out.

  
The world still span, but it seemed more manageable now. I turned to look at the girl beside me, who was still lost in thought with a wry expression on her face. I followed her gaze and saw a table with two empty chairs.

  
“I used to come here all the time, you know . . . whenever I needed to think, or if I was upset. After the first time I visited my father, I was sitting here on this bench.”

  
“Asami . . .,” her arm was still wrapped around me, so I leaned into her touch.

  
“There was a father sitting over there, at that table. And he had his son with him. They were playing a game of Pai Sho together. They . . . heh, they weren’t very good, but they were having so much fun together and despite how special it was it made me feel terrible. And it took me a long time to figure out why, but I think it was because I was _jealous_ . . . jealous because he got to spend time with his dad who was there for him and made time for him and wanted him to be happy and . . . _shit_ , I don’t know. I just wonder _what if_ sometimes . . ..”

  
Her voice was cynical and bitter, and I didn’t like it like that at all. But I had no idea how to comfort her about it. How _could_ you comfort someone about that? I didn’t even know where to begin.

  
She was crying now though, so I tried to wipe them away as best I could. I was capable of that at least.

  
“Sorry, I j-just . . . I don’t . . . after that night when we found his secret factory, I was so angry. About everything. I was angry about how I was so alone. Angry at the firebender who killed my mother and took her away from me. Angry at the equalists who took innocents away from other innocents just like that man did to me. And I was _so_ angry at my father after the fight at the hangar.”

  
I waited patiently for her to get it all out. I was glad that she was opening up about it now, she had been keeping it locked away for so long. From me, from Tenzin, from everyone.

  
“I was _so_ angry. In the nights afterward, I wondered why I didn’t kill him when I had the chance. I _wanted_ to, and it made me sick. I hated him for so long, but when I finally saw him again, I just couldn’t hold on to it anymore. All I felt then was sadness, about what I lost and about what I never had. But then I saw that father and his kid, and I thought that maybe I could try and salvage what I could. Maybe I didn’t lose everything. Maybe he’s still there, hidden in all that hatred. Maybe I could fix him and we could be happy again. So I forgave him, thinking that just _maybe_ . . ..”

  
Her tears started raining down harder, so I wrapped myself around her and held her tightly. Her body radiated warmth and cherry blossoms. She hiccuped and I patted her on the back in what I hoped was a comforting and loving way, and the whispers murmured approval and condolences.

  
“You were there when I hit my lowest point, Asami . . . let me return the favor and be there for you.”

  
“I just don’t u- _understand_ . . . I wanted him dead for so long, _why is it that as soon as I wanted him back he’s taken away from me_ . . .?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think the quote applies to more, Korra or Asami? :)


	8. Chapter 8

_“Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes.”_  
Carl Jung

 

It was nice . . . being back here of all places. The high-ceilinged room was a bit stuffy still from the continuous exertion of training. The air felt thick and full of moisture, or perhaps that was just the sweat that dotted my body.

  
The arena had been rebuilt, sticking to the original design down to the last inch making it seem like the devastation had never happened. _Obviously_ the owners were stinkin’ rich, and had wittingly kept a good portion of their money in foreign assets like Asami had done. The result? The arena was reopened before the city had finally fixed those remaining few areas that were without electricity. It was somewhat sickening.

  
I had wanted to help those people, just like how I wanted to help the Earth Kingdom citizens who were still being terrorized by thieves and scum. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring people electricity just like how I couldn’t be in a million places at the same time and fight with the body that didn’t quite respond the way I told it to, and it frustrated me so much. I felt useless to the world. The only people I could help or do anything nice for were the people close to me. What kind of avatar did that make me then? The kind content to play around with old teammates while people in other places suffered?

  
My arms broke out in goosebumps and raised hairs as the sweat slowly disappeared. There was a bang from some distant place, and the constant whir of the fans droned on and on. I could just make out the voice of my teammates from the other room.

  
The excuses felt weak as I ran them through my head. _Oh, I’m just trying to make my body better. I’m just returning a favor and helping them test for a new waterbender. There’s nobody left on the island for me to heal. My talents are useless for the city that despite being in hazard mode doesn’t seem to need or want my help . . .._

  
Frustrated, I tried to snap out of it. These thoughts didn’t help and would only serve to make things worse. What would Tenzin say? Something about how I need to be patient, and look on the bright side of things or something. Focus your energy on what you care about and is important to you, and things will work themselves out.

  
That . . . that actually sounded like something he would say. Maybe I should get into the _giving advice_ business and give him a run for his yuans, heh.

  
What’s important to me . . . ? I don’t really have any hobbies or anything I’ve dedicated myself to besides being the avatar.

  
My friends are important to me. I care about Asami, my parents, Tenzin and Pema, the airbender kids . . . heck, I’m even starting to care about Varrick and Zhu Li.

   
I guess I might have been a little down and rough on them lately. It’s tough though, but maybe I should try a little harder. Be a better person and all that. Be nice so they actually want to keep you around.

  
“Hey,” came a voice from my side. Mako had entered the room, alone for a change. “Mind if I sit here?”  
  


He gestured to the bench I was sitting on. I shrugged and he sat down, looking contemplative and staring off at nothing. He was working himself up over something, and if he ditched Bolin to sit here he probably had something to say to me.

  
“What’s up?” I threw out, fishing for something.

  
“Oh, noth- I, uh . . . nothing . . .,” he rambled, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

  
“Mako,” I gave him a pointed look that said _I know when something is bothering you, just come out with it already._

  
“I uh . . . just, well, iseresomethibetweyoanasami?”

  
“What?” I asked, not quite hearing him right. He spoke too fast for me to understand.

   
“Is there something going on between you and Asami?” He spoke again, putting emphasis on each word.

   
 _Something?_ What did _something_ mean? I mean, Asami and I had lots of things going on. We were friends now, who did a lot of stuff together, and stuff.

  
“Specific, much? What does that even mean?”

  
“Do you have feelings for her?” He spoke again.

  
I stared at him trying to process what he said as a cold pit of fear wormed its way down to the bottom of my stomach.  
  


_Feelings_ . . . like, _r-romantic_ feelings? Those kinds of feelings? Uhhh, no. Nope. No feeli- how could he think I have feelings for her? I mean, is that a thing? Like, girls liking girls, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard about it before but it’s not something that’s really talked about much in the south. Is that a thing I can even _do_ though? I mean, I’m like the Avatar or something. Could I even do that? What would that look like, me _liking_ Asami? It’d be all lik- wait why am I even thinking about this I don’t have feelings for Asami. I mean, that’s just ridiculous. It’s so redicu- _does she like me?_

  
“Korra . . .,” his voice broke my concentration, and I realized he was waving his hand in front of my face. “Korra, you kinda zoned out for a while there.”  
  


“Why would you think I like Asami?!” I screeched, I positively screeched. My voice sounded way too high and it was _freaking_ me out. I looked in every direction before having to turn and face him again.

  
“Well, I just . . . I just noticed how you two were constantly around each other. And you look at each other in a certain way and I thought . . .. you know, a lot of other people were thinking-”

  
“I . . . how do I _look_ at her?” The fear pushed the words out of my mouth like bubbles from a shaken can of soda-pop. My heart was pounding, and all the colors in the room seemed really bright and intense all of a sudden. I felt dizzy and my hands shook.

  
“It’s just, well _you know_. And it seemed obvious, but-”

  
A set of heavy steps announced Bolin had made his way into the gym again. All 200 pounds of muscle.

  
“Well _heellllllooooo_ te- wait, what’s going on here? Are you, are you two . . .,” He gestured at the two of us and I sneaked a glance back to Mako again.

   
“What, no! No, Bolin, there’s nothing going on between us.” Mako spoke at the same time I tried to. He said it carefully, trying to make sure his brother understood.

  
“Now you know how it feels, huh?” I muttered in spite.

  
Bolin looked confused for a moment, before turning to his brother. “What? I’m missing something here, aren’t I?”

  
“Oh, I just thought Korra liked Asami.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

  
“No!” I shouted.

  
“Wait, you like Asami? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  
“NO I DO NOT!” I shrieked, and before I knew it I was suddenly in the hallway relishing its emptiness and lack-of-peopleness.

  
From somewhere far behind I could hear out the sound of Bolin’s voice saying, “Wait, are we still going to Narook’s?”

  
I stalked the labyrinth that is the back-parts of the arena instead, muttering and shaking and angrily staring at boxes when they didn’t move out of the way. My heart raced as I tried to get it under control, and the whispers murmured disapproval and admonishment.

  
I cringed when I realized that I had done exactly what I had told myself not to do a few minutes ago, immediately regretting my actions. So much for _nice_ Korra . . ..

  
Mako’s words kept beating the inside of my head so much it hurt. _Feelings . . . constantly . . . look . . . obvious . . . other people . . .._

  
“I do _not_ like Asami.” I muttered like someone could hear it, like it could change anything. “I don’t, I . . . what if . . ..”

  
I threw my hands back and kept stalking forward, shutting myself up. I’m not thinking about this right now. I’m not going to give it any thought because that would mean that the idea has some semblance of merit.

  
I don’t like Asami, _right?_

 

 


End file.
